Humor

Was John McCain Abducted by Aliens?

Is it just me, or has John McCain disappeared off of the face of the planet?! I've only seen him in the news a couple of times over the last couple of weeks. Is it possible that the media is showing us old stock footage to hide the fact McCain was captured by aliens?

I'm serious. Am I the only one that has noticed that McCain has fallen off the radar ever since since Jesse Jackson threatened to cut Obama's balls off? I am starting to get worried that the Republican candidate might actually be in a secret intergalactic prison somewhere. I've never been captured by aliens, but I am assuming it's pretty damn scary, even for a dude that spent time in a POW camp.

At first I was just thinking that media was just being super biased and didn't want to show his mug on television. After all, I am sure that their ratings drop to the floor faster than the dancers in a 2 Live Crew video when ever he gets on the screen. But then I started noticing that McCain says the same thing over and over again in every interview and press conference. I am betting they just went to the vault to dig up some old tapes of McCain so that we don't start to get all scarred and stuff. I am not sure if anyone has ever polled alien abduction, but I am betting it would poll pretty poorly.

Maybe the good progressives over at MoveOn.org will start a petition or something that will force officials to tell us the truth. I would really hate to have to fight aliens. At the end of the day I am too busy playing Sim City and The Sims for my life to turn into a damn Will Smith movie.

Here's a little Monday morning humor to get your week started on on a good note.

This Onion News Network video is proof that laughter is great medicine- though getting rid of Bush will be a lot better. Only six more months to go- lets hope he doesn't do too much more damage in that time!

In an era where news has to be entertaining, comedy is the king of real news, as the Daily Show and the Colbert Report have repeatedly shown. That's why I feel that both of these pieces are powerful:

Do you stay up at night dreaming of a real leader in the White House? Well, try dialing 1-900-RUN-GORE, for only $3.95/minute!

And have you ever wondered what the world would look like if Gore had become President the first time he won the election? Family Guy takes a look:

I find it very encouraging that Democrats seem to have embraced comedy, since it seems like one of the only ways to get real news to the American Public using TV . I find it hilarious that Republicans want to get it, but just can't.