Why I'm Supporting Obama

I've been pretty quiet in this here blogosphere over the past 4 or 5 months, but today, on this Super-Duper-Fat-Tuesday, I've decided to end my self-imposed blog-exile and speak out in support of the candidate who I would vote for if I currently lived in one of the Super Tuesday States (I live in PA).

Now, in case you don't know me, I was very hopeful that Al Gore would jump in the race, as he had the boldest positions on the issues that matter most to me (the Environment, Health Care, media reform, getting money out of politics, defending "reason", etc). When it became apparent that Gore wasn't going to jump in, I decided I'd vote for Edwards, given that he campaigned on a populist message that included fighting corporations, lifting up the poor, and other issues that weren't far from Gore's positions.

But, now that we're left with only two candidates, I have decided to join the cult, er campaign, to support Barack Obama. Here are a few reasons why I'm supporting Obama, and I hope you'll agree that these reasons are so strong that you too will have no choice but to bow down to, er support, Obama:

• Because the best way to fight global warming is with Coal! Never mind the scientists who claim that coal will always produce more carbon than liquid gas- they just lack sufficient hope!
  
  
  
• Because unviersal healtchare doesn't really mean covering everyone. If 15-22 million people are still left without healthcare then as that great liberal Milton Friedman might say: they simply represent a "natural level" of uninsured people.
  
  
  
• Because the best way to pursue consumer rights is to force class actions lawsuits into federal courts that have been packed with 20 years worth of Right-Wing judges.
  
  
  
• Because 30 percent is a fair APR on credit cards.
  
  
  
• Because woman who want to seal court records after a sexual assault case are really just prudes who should have thought about that before they went and got assaulted.
  
  
  
• Because the best way to improve public schools is by punishing teachers in failing schools.
  
  
  
• Because Paul Krugman really is just a shill for the special interests we call "liberals" and "the middle class".
  
  
  
• Because I agree that Ronald Reagan was a great visionary, who united this country against the excesses of the 60s in 70s in ways that Bill Clinton just couldn't. Granted, he united most of supporters by stoking their racist, misogynistic, anti-intellectual, anti-semitic, anti-worker tendencies, but how else can we feel so together if we can't revel in the good old days of lynchings and civil rights killings?
  
  
  
• Because Trial Lawyers are a scourge on our nation, who have the audacity to stand in the way of business progress, simply because those businesses are selling harmful products or are ripping people off.
  
  
  
• Because anybody who says "change" so much, must be better!
  
  
  
• Because he's the pied piper, who has single handedly inspired and turned out young people across the nation. We all know that without the prospect of Obama that all those young people would have stayed home in 2004 and 2006.
  
  
  
• Because being the 43rd most liberal Democrat in the senate last year makes you a progressive stalwart.
  
  
  
• Because the best way to fight homophobia is to surround yourself with well known homophopes.
  
  
  
• Because Daily Kos really is boring.
  
  
  
• Because Oprah told me to do so (really it could have all come down to this one, but the post would have been a little light).
  
  

I'm sure I'm leaving out some important reasons to support our liberal savior, so maybe you could help me out: why do you support Barack Obama?